Too Far?
by StrangeSpark
Summary: A series of events linked by one question: When has war gone too far? Hinted Rex/Ahsoka, rated for character death. Warning: WILL MAKE YOU CRY!


**First Star wars fic. I do not own Star Wars or any of the characters. **

**This is not a songfic; the lyrics just seemed to fit. I don't own them either. They belong to Bryan Adams and Dreamworks**

_Sound the bugle now_

_Play it just for me_

_As the seasons change,_

_Remember how I used to be_

He knew he shouldn't look directly into the flames. It wreaked havoc on one's optic nerves. But he had a helmet that could intensify light for him, should he go partially blind. Before him the fire danced. It's wild, orange tongues licking the wood, leaving the sticks smoldering. It seemed so happy when it burned. So totally ignorant of the destruction it caused. He wished that he could feel that way about what he did, about the destruction he caused every, single day.

"Captain?" A trooper, Tank, was holding a metal flask out to him. He took it, saying nothing. Normally he wouldn't condone drinking, but this hadn't been a normal day. They'd lost all but ten men, all their artillery, gunships, orbit cover, everything. And Rex had accidentally shot a civilian. A youngling, not even old enough to know what war was. Rex took a swig from the flask, and then another, reveling in the feeling as the alcohol burned its way down his throat. Then, passing the flask on, he peered into the flames again. He didn't even hear the footsteps.

"Can I join you?" Ahsoka. Rex could have picked her out her voice in a riot mob. He didn't look up or speak as he moved over to make space for her. She sat and watched the flames with him. How could she sit there so passively? She'd watched him shoot that child. He'd seen the look on her face after he'd lowered his rifle. She'd looked absolutely defeated. Like her hero, the one she looked up to, aside from her master had just let her down. When she'd looked away, he'd cried.

"Have you gotten in touch with Coruscant yet?" asked Miles, putting the flask to his lips. Ahsoka shook her head, head-tails slapping her shoulders.

"Master says we're out of transmitting range. He's trying to communicate with a few cruisers rumored to be in the area." She pulled her knees up to her chest, folding her arms over them. She smirked a bit. "The only problem is that there are no Jedi stationed anywhere near here." Silently, Rex wondered why she didn't smile genuinely anymore. Her smiles and laughs were anything anyone needed to get through a hard time like tonight. But, smiles from anyone were a rarity on the battlefield.

By this time the flask had made its way back around to him. This time, though, he just passed it on. Alcohol dulled you to the point of stupidity. Although the few hours of ignorant, unfeeling, blankness were bliss, it left a gap you couldn't fill as long as you lived.

To his surprise, Ahsoka took the flask. She put it to her lips and gulped. Her eyes and nose scrunched up, but she kept on gulping down the contents until the flask was dry. Her eyes were watering as she threw the empty metal bottle into the fire. The flames rose slightly as the remnants of alcohol caught fire, and then died back down to normal height.

"When has war gone too far?" she asked no one, still looking into the fire. "Is it when you can't remember what you're fighting for? Or is it when you can't tell your enemies from civilians?" Why? Why did she have to do this to him? He hadn't meant to shoot that child. It had been reflex. He'd been scared. Too scared to act on common sense. Too jumped up on adrenaline to think with his head. He wanted dearly to tell her that. To let her know that he wasn't a killer, and he was sorry for letting her down. But when he looked at her, she was crying. There was no sobbing no blubbering, no sound at all. She was just letting the tears fall freely down her red cheeks.

"I killed two people today, Rex." She said, the tears running into her mouth as she spoke. "A mother and a father. They…..oh, Rex, the way they looked at me! And I could feel them…..feel their fear and their pain!" she buried her face in her hands and muttered over and over: "I'm a killer, I'm a killer, I'm a killer…." Now, as a soldier, Rex could take a lot of things in stride, but he refused to watch Ahsoka beat herself up over a natural price of war. Ignoring the stares from his men, he stood, and, taking Ahsoka by the upper arm, dragged her to her feet as well. He took her to a more remote part of the campsite, where the light from the fire didn't penetrate the forest of crude shelters they'd set up for the night. Everything around them was dark. Ahsoka was still repeating her 'I'm a killer' mantra to herself. Rex sat her down near one of the enormous tree roots that supported the gigantic trees that this planet was famous for. He kneeled down in front of her and took her face in his hands.

"Now listen to me, Ahsoka Tano," he said in a firm, yet gentle voice. "You are _not_ a killer"

"Yes I am!" she protested, trying to push his hands away weakly. "I killed two innocent people. I-"

"You were scared; you thought they were a threat, so you acted on instinct." He interrupted his voice softer this time. "That makes you an imperfect living being, Ahsoka, not a killer." By now his eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could see Ahsoka's face more clearly. She looked so young, so small compared to the things she could do as a Jedi. Her bottom lip was quivering, but the tears had stopped. She looked….cute

"How do you live with this every day?" She asked, resting her head on the tree root. Rex sighed.

"Good question." He replied. He wished he could tell her how he really felt. How every morning he woke up and wondered when the hell this war was going to be over. How every night he ran through a mental list of dead brothers and civilians and spent half the night tossing and turning over the deaths he'd caused. He wished he could tell her.

But, instead, he just wrapped Ahsoka in his arms as she began crying again.

_I'm a soldier_

_Wounded so I must give up the fight_

_There's nothing more for me_

_Lead me away or leave me lying here_

Vokara Che said something about shrapnel severing the spinal cord in five places. And hemorrhaging. There had been something about a massive hemorrhage near the brain.

All Rex knew for certain was that Ahsoka Tano was dead. Still a padawan and dead. The cremation had been yesterday, and as captain of her legion, he stood by Anakin and watched his padawan burn. Afterwards, Rex had walked away. He and Skywalker had been the last ones there. And he'd just left. He said nothing to his general. He just simply walked away.

He'd contemplated leaving his armor in the barracks and taking a speeder to one of the local, underground bars. But he knew he'd kill himself for it the next day. And he knew that Ahsoka wouldn't have wanted him to get drunk on behalf of her death. So he'd just gone to the barracks and stayed there.

That's where he was now. Sitting on his bunk, elbows propped on his knees, chin propped on his clenched fists. Troopers came and went, but no one bothered him. For that he was grateful. Right now he just wanted to be alone. And, for a few hours, he was left as such. Until Skywalker came looking for him.

He heard the door slide open and didn't pay any attention to it. He figured it was just another fellow trooper who had forgotten their helmet or a sidearm. But then they called his name.

"Rex! Where've you been? I've looked over every square klick on Coruscant for you." He really, really didn't want to talk to his general right now. But he hadn't spoken to him for almost three days, so he just did what his soldier brain told him to do: grit his teeth and deal with it. "How long have you been here?"

"A while." He replied curtly. Skywalker sat on the bunk beside Rex's, so he was facing him. Rex didn't look up at him.

"How long is a while?" He pressed. Rex wished he would go away. Go away and stop trying to make small talk. Because he didn't need this right now.

"Since last night."

"I tried to comm you."

"Turned off my commlink."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine." He lied. He knew that Skywalker knew he lied. And he could honestly say that he didn't care. It was his own damn fault for walking in on him four days after his commander's death.

"Rex, look at me, please." He sounded as if he had something caught in his throat, making it hard for him to speak. Rex looked up at his general. He looked like he'd seen better days. He could tell that Skywalker had been crying. His eyes and nose were red, and when he inhaled, it was broken and ragged gasps. All in all, he looked like hell. "I know that Ahsoka spoke to you the night before she died. What did she say?" Rex didn't answer. That conversation was between himself and his commander, and he intended it to stay that way.

"Why?" he asked. Skywalker bristled visibly.

"Because," he said tapping a button on his commlink. "I want her to have better last words than this." There was a pause as static crackled over the link. Then a female voice could be heard shouting over a steady stream of blasterfire. Ahsoka.

_Master! Too many on the southern border! Send re- _There was a strangled gasp of surprise, followed by more static. So those had been Ahsoka's true last words.

"I see." Was all Rex said.

"I know you want to be alone right now, I do too. I promise I'll leave if you just tell me what she told you." For a moment, or maybe it was hours, Rex just stared at Skywalker. He didn't want to tell his general what had passed between his padawan and himself. But, if he lied Skywalker would know. So he opted for a half-lie.

"She asked me when I thought war had gone too far." If that satisfied the general, Rex couldn't tell. They looked at each other for another silent moment. Then, Skywalker stood.

"Thank you, Captain." He bowed, the customary departing gesture for a Jedi, and then he left.

_Now I can't go on_

_I can't even start_

_I've got nothing left_

_Just an empty heart_

He knew he shouldn't look right into the flames. But the light intensity filter on his helmet was on. He felt nothing as he watched the Jedi Temple burn. He hadn't felt anything since Ahsoka's death, two years ago. Not anger, not sadness, not joy, not pride, not sympathy. He was simply a shell. When the Supreme Chancellor decreed that they carry out Order 66, Rex had done so without question. He felt like a droid. No feeling, no character, a being that had others do the thinking for him.

He turned to his fellow troopers and gave the order to search the Temple. The flames had died enough so that people could enter without fear of great injury.

"Shoot anything that moves." They didn't sound like his words. His voice sounded hollow, just like he felt. He turned back to the now-smoldering Temple to await the arrival of Sith Lord Vader. Then, he felt something, like a twinge behind his eyes. Someone was here. He tightened his grip on his blaster rifle, his finger squeezed the trigger. Slowly he turned around to face the person who thought they could sneak up behind him. The sight that met him caused his rifle to fall to the ground.

"Ahsoka?" Sure her image was hazy around the edges and she was slightly transparent, but it really was Ahsoka. For the first time in two years, Rex felt- well- happy. He was actually _happy_ to see his old commander again.

But she looked different. She was much less the bubbly, excited padawan that he'd known, and more like a wise, practiced Jedi Master. She was clothed in a dark robe, instead of her old form-fitting clothes she'd worn into battle those years ago. Her head-tails had grown too, a small growth but Rex's well trained eyes picked it out easily. That's when Rex noticed her expression. She wasn't looking at him, but at the Temple. A mixture of horror and sorrow distorted her too young features.

"Ahsoka…" Rex took a step forward, but Ahsoka recoiled. There was fear in her eyes.

"What have you done?" her voice was barely a whisper, but she might as well have screamed at him. Her words were like a slap in the face. "You are not the Rex that I know." She crossed the courtyard to where the body of a Jedi youngling lay, dead. She held out her hand to the body. From out of nowhere, a smaller hand grasped hers. Soon a boy was standing beside her, hazy around the edges and slightly transparent. But the body still lay motionless on the ground. The child clutched Ahsoka's arm, looking terrified, as she fixed Rex with a cold stare.

"You have forgotten who you are, my friend." Then she turned and disappeared with the child. As she vanished, so did Rex's emotions.

But then he felt tears running down his cheeks. An overwhelming pain shot through him, worse than any physical pain he had ever felt in his short clone life. He fell to his knees clutching at his heart where all of the pain seemed to flow. His agonized scream echoed off the tansparasteel walls of Coruscant.

_If you lose yourself_

_Your courage soon will follow_

_So just run tonight_

_Remember who you are_

They found Rex's body the next day.

**Hey guys! I updated! Not very much, but I did, I promise! What do you think? Is the ending better this way or the way I had it before? Let me know!**


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